Feminism and Feminists.
Two words that have gathered a lot of dirt, even more so recently.
We have had people mocking these words, directly through their words and indirectly through their actions.
We see a lot of pseudo-feminists (is that even a word?) or like people like to call them, the Femi-nazis or the female counterpart of chauvinists.
And then we see a lot of people who get offended for everything that you say.
Let me show you an example.
Consider this line,
'Ladies, get yourself a man who looks at you like I look at food.'
Seems okay, right? NO.
There will be someone who gets offended by this because it apparently 'disregards gay people'.
So I change the sentence.
'Ladies, get yourself a partner who looks at you like I look at food.'
But wait, someone will get offended by this too.
"Why should only the ladies get that? Don't men also deserve someone like that?"
So I change the sentence again.
'Ladies and men, get yourself a partner who looks at you like I look at food.'
But again, there will be people offended by this too.
"Does everyone need a partner in life? Why can't they be single and perfectly happy and content?"
So I change the sentence, again.
'Ladies and men who are looking for a relationship, get yourself a partner who looks at you like I look at food.'
But again there will be few people who get offended by this too.
"Well, this is alright but the partner should be approved by your parents and should meet all the criteria they set (like religion, caste, gender, etc. IT IS TRUE).
So I change it, again.
'Ladies and men who are looking for a relationship, get yourself a partner who is approved by your family and meets all the prerequisite criterion who looks at you like I look at food.'
But there will be people offended by this too.
"Why should people be looking for relationships when they can be looking for better jobs, etc? Our culture does not allow this. They are not allowed to get into a relationship."
So I change it, again.
'Ladies and men who are looking for a relationship and are allowed and free to do so, get yourself a partner who is approved by your family and meets all the prerequisite criterion who looks at you like I look at food.'
My brain is pretty much exhausted at this point.
But the problem is, people will get offended still.
It is as inevitable as say, the sun rising in the East.
And so, this whole exercise was to tell you one thing.
This post is about what Feminism means to ME.
And if you get offended by some things I have to say, don't fight with me.
Because, things will get dirty.
If you can politely put forth your arguments, I promise that I WILL LISTEN.
There are two ways that equality can be achieved.
You either lift women up to the level of men or you bring down men to the level of women.
No one likes the second option, no one likes the first because in a way, both seem to threaten men and their privileges.
Who cares if women have lived without them for a long time.
They survived all these years, why not now?
If a man announces that he is going to change his surname to that of his wife's and that he is going to live with his wife's family, why do people react so much?
It is natural for a woman to leave her family, the people she has grown up with for so long to live with her husband's family.
It is natural that a woman changes the name she has been recognized with for years to a new one that belongs to her husband.
But it is not okay the other way round.
Why does it then, become an identity crisis?
It is acceptable and expected that in a marriage, the man is older than the woman.
Because, he had to take care of his career, right?
For how else can he take care of all the expenses?
The woman does not need a career, she has him.
But then, people will come and admonish her for being a leech, a parasite that lives off her husband's money.
Well, when she was 26 and slowly climbing up the career ladder, YOU were the ones who told her to stop and get married.
And now you are policing her, all the while taking up a moral high ground you have no business taking up.
If a man asks for paternity leave so that he can really, genuinely help take care of his child, why is it met with so much skepticism and scoffs?
Granted, yes, the man did not have the job of pushing out the child, going through much pain.
But that doesn't make him any less responsible.
In fact, it gives him more responsibility because then, he has the job of taking care of not only his child but also its mother.
When men smoke, people just move on after seeing it.
But when a woman does it, she is stared at, pointed at, etc.
Smoking and drinking just because men do it is not feminism.
The thing is, they are harmful to our health.
They don't care about your gender.
If you still want to do it, it is your personal wish and I can't question you for it.
But this is not about you being a man or a woman, it is about you taking an informed decision about your health.
When a man respects his wife, why is she considered to be a lucky woman?
Isn't everyone supposed to be respected?
Why is it that when someone has a 50% women cabinet, he is suddenly a hero?
The thought is a great one, but the thing is, why is it so uncommon to see such acts?
You want to be a house wife, great.
You genuinely like it, then I have no right to question you and your choices.
If I am a working woman, you have no right to look down at me just like how I have no right to look down at you.
We are doing it by choice.
But we have to understand that many women, do not get that choice.
It is most of the time, the compulsion of society, of family and of the work place.
Feminism aims to give these women a choice, a real one.
The fact that we need something like feminism, someone like a feminist is by itself sad.
We shouldn't have to fight for equal rights, equal opportunity, equality in everything.
It is a right, a fundamental one.
A choice, that should have been given, but was not.
And now, when people are slowly realizing and understanding all this and starting to work for it, there are thousands of people blocking the way.
Each one with their own way of perceiving feminism and taking up the duty of policing other women and men who don't seem to come inside their definition.
There is no unique definition.
There is choice. ONLY CHOICE.
Feminism is not only about women.
It is about equality.
But the thing is, women have lived so many years without the rights that men have now come to enjoy and take for granted.
Feminism came because they had to uplift these women to bring about equality.
Equality meant upliftment of women, hence the term 'Feminism'.
Feminists don't disregard the problem faced by men.
They don't consider them as insignificant.
They know and accept that men are half the population and also demand others to acknowledge the fact that there is another half of the population that has been repressed for far too long.
Feminism is about giving women the choices that men have taken for granted all these years.
It tells us that just because one is a man or a woman they are not granted special privileges.
It expects both of them to be able to do the same things (except certain biological functions) without getting undue attention for it, or being met with disdain and opposition.
Feminism is about not being a hypocrite.
It is about not using your rights wrongly (See what I did there?)
At the basic level, it tells us that humans are humans, regardless of their gender, status, birth, sexuality, religion, skin color, etc.
Humans don't have separate rules.
There is no pre-defined way in which society can function.
Times change and women also have the right to be heard.
To work the same jobs as men with the same ease and comfort and peace.
To demand the salary that men would get if they were in the same position.
To demand to keep their job regardless of their pregnancy (as long as they are productive in their jobs).
To have the right to say no.
To not be objectified.
To not be ashamed of their menstrual cycles.
To not be insulted or humiliated for being bold, for their appearance, for their sexuality.
To demand the rights that they have not enjoyed for so long in life just because they were led to believe that it was their lot in life.
The words feminism and feminist have gathered a lot of hate and unwarranted abuse.
When women voice out their troubles, they are accused of playing the victim card, the woman card or one of the thousands of cards with the special powers.
This accusation is a humiliating one in itself.
Feminism does not disregard the problems that men face.
It doesn't call them to be non-existent.
It acknowledges them and wants justice for men too.
So do not let your arguments that "feminists don't care for men", botch what feminism as a whole stands for.
When people complain about men and the thousands of rape cases, etc, many people come up with the hashtags #NotAllMen.
But if one woman wrongly accuses a man of harassment, immediately it is a black spot on all feminists.
Why don't we have a separate hashtag #NotAllWomen?
One false accusation case among thousands of real, genuine cases (not including those that never get revealed) is enough for people to start #IHateFeminism.
I say genuine cases, because in my current rage, my vocabulary fails me.
What thousands of cases don't show, one wrong case shows.
Let women have their share of running the government.
We do not want female dominance.
We do not want male dominance either.
We want equal representation, equal access to opportunity.
When you have sexual harassment cases, the responsibility and blame goes to the victim.
This is true for both men and women.
Is the victim who wears what she wants the person to blame?
Or is it the uncouth barbarian who thought that just because she wore such a dress, she was provoking him, teasing him to make her his in a primal way, to blame?
Menstruation and temples is another huge story.
Yes, every woman menstruates.
Who cares if you're on your period?
No one is going to look inside your pants, unless there is a very pervert person kneeling on the floor.
It does not matter what society thinks.
God gave you this, He knows what happens during periods.
God DOES NOT MIND.
In the end, it is what you think that matters.
If you are fine with the idea of going inside the temple while on your period, stroll in, take the prasadam, do whatever you want and come back out satisfied.
If you don't like the idea personally, it is again YOUR CHOICE.
You want to wax, shave, not wax, not shave, wear a bra, don't wear one, be who you are, do it.
You have the choice.
Feminism is not about bashing people who choose to do what they want.
It is about learning to accept the choices that other people make as part of their personality.
Do not bash your fellow human beings who can have different thoughts than you.
But, different thoughts does not mean something like standing for the oppression of homosexuals, women or men.
Feminism is NOT about oppressing people because they are a certain way.
You accept everyone, give them the same footing and base and let them figure out their life on their own.
CHOICE, CHOICE, CHOICE.
Choice is fine, you have the right to choose for yourself.
Provided, that you do not take away the rights and choice of another person.
This comes because some retarded people might use what I said to justify that rape was the choice of the rapist.
You wanting to wear a short dress does not make you any less or greater a feminist than a person wanting to wear a dress that fully covers them up.
If a woman wants to get marries at age 20, let her be and do not judge her.
If a woman is unmarried even at 35, let her be and do not judge her.
If a woman wants to abort her baby if she requires it, let her make the choice.
Is someone wants a divorce from their spouse, let them get it.
It is their choice, their life.
Don't guilt trip them, mock them, insult them, blackmail them.
Accept their choices because they don't affect you.
Feminism is only about choice, equal choice in whatever issues that have an impact on us.
I have never been able to understand the term progressive feminist.
Being a feminist means that you are progressive.
You are fighting for a better future for everyone, regardless of their birth.
You are fighting for the past, the present and the future.
You are fighting to bring about progress in our dream of a world where all humans are equal, really and truly.
You cannot be a non progressive feminist. It is an oxymoron.
Also I have mentioned extensively about men and women.
I would also like to add homosexuals to that, because they are humans too.
Feminism stands for them too.
It stands by them, their views, dreams and interests.
They deserve to live life without being discriminated.
Homophobia is true, relevant and very much prevalent.
Feminism also fights against these.
These are the views on feminism by a 16 year old who still has a lot to see in the world.
But in my limited experiences and the volume of things I read and learn about, these are what I believe feminism stands for.
What I stand for.
If I have offended anyone with my usage of words, I am not sorry.
I am not looking to be politically correct and all flowery language.
Given the recent bashing feminists get, I wanted to tell what these two words meant to me.
These are what I believe in, what I stand for, what I will fight for.
Equality is not a one way street and feminism aims to tackle that exact same problem.
Two words that have gathered a lot of dirt, even more so recently.
We have had people mocking these words, directly through their words and indirectly through their actions.
We see a lot of pseudo-feminists (is that even a word?) or like people like to call them, the Femi-nazis or the female counterpart of chauvinists.
And then we see a lot of people who get offended for everything that you say.
Let me show you an example.
Consider this line,
'Ladies, get yourself a man who looks at you like I look at food.'
Seems okay, right? NO.
There will be someone who gets offended by this because it apparently 'disregards gay people'.
So I change the sentence.
'Ladies, get yourself a partner who looks at you like I look at food.'
But wait, someone will get offended by this too.
"Why should only the ladies get that? Don't men also deserve someone like that?"
So I change the sentence again.
'Ladies and men, get yourself a partner who looks at you like I look at food.'
But again, there will be people offended by this too.
"Does everyone need a partner in life? Why can't they be single and perfectly happy and content?"
So I change the sentence, again.
'Ladies and men who are looking for a relationship, get yourself a partner who looks at you like I look at food.'
But again there will be few people who get offended by this too.
"Well, this is alright but the partner should be approved by your parents and should meet all the criteria they set (like religion, caste, gender, etc. IT IS TRUE).
So I change it, again.
'Ladies and men who are looking for a relationship, get yourself a partner who is approved by your family and meets all the prerequisite criterion who looks at you like I look at food.'
But there will be people offended by this too.
"Why should people be looking for relationships when they can be looking for better jobs, etc? Our culture does not allow this. They are not allowed to get into a relationship."
So I change it, again.
'Ladies and men who are looking for a relationship and are allowed and free to do so, get yourself a partner who is approved by your family and meets all the prerequisite criterion who looks at you like I look at food.'
My brain is pretty much exhausted at this point.
But the problem is, people will get offended still.
It is as inevitable as say, the sun rising in the East.
And so, this whole exercise was to tell you one thing.
This post is about what Feminism means to ME.
And if you get offended by some things I have to say, don't fight with me.
Because, things will get dirty.
If you can politely put forth your arguments, I promise that I WILL LISTEN.
There are two ways that equality can be achieved.
You either lift women up to the level of men or you bring down men to the level of women.
No one likes the second option, no one likes the first because in a way, both seem to threaten men and their privileges.
Who cares if women have lived without them for a long time.
They survived all these years, why not now?
If a man announces that he is going to change his surname to that of his wife's and that he is going to live with his wife's family, why do people react so much?
It is natural for a woman to leave her family, the people she has grown up with for so long to live with her husband's family.
It is natural that a woman changes the name she has been recognized with for years to a new one that belongs to her husband.
But it is not okay the other way round.
Why does it then, become an identity crisis?
It is acceptable and expected that in a marriage, the man is older than the woman.
Because, he had to take care of his career, right?
For how else can he take care of all the expenses?
The woman does not need a career, she has him.
But then, people will come and admonish her for being a leech, a parasite that lives off her husband's money.
Well, when she was 26 and slowly climbing up the career ladder, YOU were the ones who told her to stop and get married.
And now you are policing her, all the while taking up a moral high ground you have no business taking up.
If a man asks for paternity leave so that he can really, genuinely help take care of his child, why is it met with so much skepticism and scoffs?
Granted, yes, the man did not have the job of pushing out the child, going through much pain.
But that doesn't make him any less responsible.
In fact, it gives him more responsibility because then, he has the job of taking care of not only his child but also its mother.
When men smoke, people just move on after seeing it.
But when a woman does it, she is stared at, pointed at, etc.
Smoking and drinking just because men do it is not feminism.
The thing is, they are harmful to our health.
They don't care about your gender.
If you still want to do it, it is your personal wish and I can't question you for it.
But this is not about you being a man or a woman, it is about you taking an informed decision about your health.
When a man respects his wife, why is she considered to be a lucky woman?
Isn't everyone supposed to be respected?
Why is it that when someone has a 50% women cabinet, he is suddenly a hero?
The thought is a great one, but the thing is, why is it so uncommon to see such acts?
You want to be a house wife, great.
You genuinely like it, then I have no right to question you and your choices.
If I am a working woman, you have no right to look down at me just like how I have no right to look down at you.
We are doing it by choice.
But we have to understand that many women, do not get that choice.
It is most of the time, the compulsion of society, of family and of the work place.
Feminism aims to give these women a choice, a real one.
The fact that we need something like feminism, someone like a feminist is by itself sad.
We shouldn't have to fight for equal rights, equal opportunity, equality in everything.
It is a right, a fundamental one.
A choice, that should have been given, but was not.
And now, when people are slowly realizing and understanding all this and starting to work for it, there are thousands of people blocking the way.
Each one with their own way of perceiving feminism and taking up the duty of policing other women and men who don't seem to come inside their definition.
There is no unique definition.
There is choice. ONLY CHOICE.
Feminism is not only about women.
It is about equality.
But the thing is, women have lived so many years without the rights that men have now come to enjoy and take for granted.
Feminism came because they had to uplift these women to bring about equality.
Equality meant upliftment of women, hence the term 'Feminism'.
Feminists don't disregard the problem faced by men.
They don't consider them as insignificant.
They know and accept that men are half the population and also demand others to acknowledge the fact that there is another half of the population that has been repressed for far too long.
Feminism is about giving women the choices that men have taken for granted all these years.
It tells us that just because one is a man or a woman they are not granted special privileges.
It expects both of them to be able to do the same things (except certain biological functions) without getting undue attention for it, or being met with disdain and opposition.
Feminism is about not being a hypocrite.
It is about not using your rights wrongly (See what I did there?)
At the basic level, it tells us that humans are humans, regardless of their gender, status, birth, sexuality, religion, skin color, etc.
Humans don't have separate rules.
There is no pre-defined way in which society can function.
Times change and women also have the right to be heard.
To work the same jobs as men with the same ease and comfort and peace.
To demand the salary that men would get if they were in the same position.
To demand to keep their job regardless of their pregnancy (as long as they are productive in their jobs).
To have the right to say no.
To not be objectified.
To not be ashamed of their menstrual cycles.
To not be insulted or humiliated for being bold, for their appearance, for their sexuality.
To demand the rights that they have not enjoyed for so long in life just because they were led to believe that it was their lot in life.
The words feminism and feminist have gathered a lot of hate and unwarranted abuse.
When women voice out their troubles, they are accused of playing the victim card, the woman card or one of the thousands of cards with the special powers.
This accusation is a humiliating one in itself.
Feminism does not disregard the problems that men face.
It doesn't call them to be non-existent.
It acknowledges them and wants justice for men too.
So do not let your arguments that "feminists don't care for men", botch what feminism as a whole stands for.
When people complain about men and the thousands of rape cases, etc, many people come up with the hashtags #NotAllMen.
But if one woman wrongly accuses a man of harassment, immediately it is a black spot on all feminists.
Why don't we have a separate hashtag #NotAllWomen?
One false accusation case among thousands of real, genuine cases (not including those that never get revealed) is enough for people to start #IHateFeminism.
I say genuine cases, because in my current rage, my vocabulary fails me.
What thousands of cases don't show, one wrong case shows.
Let women have their share of running the government.
We do not want female dominance.
We do not want male dominance either.
We want equal representation, equal access to opportunity.
When you have sexual harassment cases, the responsibility and blame goes to the victim.
This is true for both men and women.
Is the victim who wears what she wants the person to blame?
Or is it the uncouth barbarian who thought that just because she wore such a dress, she was provoking him, teasing him to make her his in a primal way, to blame?
Menstruation and temples is another huge story.
Yes, every woman menstruates.
Who cares if you're on your period?
No one is going to look inside your pants, unless there is a very pervert person kneeling on the floor.
It does not matter what society thinks.
God gave you this, He knows what happens during periods.
God DOES NOT MIND.
In the end, it is what you think that matters.
If you are fine with the idea of going inside the temple while on your period, stroll in, take the prasadam, do whatever you want and come back out satisfied.
If you don't like the idea personally, it is again YOUR CHOICE.
You want to wax, shave, not wax, not shave, wear a bra, don't wear one, be who you are, do it.
You have the choice.
Feminism is not about bashing people who choose to do what they want.
It is about learning to accept the choices that other people make as part of their personality.
Do not bash your fellow human beings who can have different thoughts than you.
But, different thoughts does not mean something like standing for the oppression of homosexuals, women or men.
Feminism is NOT about oppressing people because they are a certain way.
You accept everyone, give them the same footing and base and let them figure out their life on their own.
CHOICE, CHOICE, CHOICE.
Choice is fine, you have the right to choose for yourself.
Provided, that you do not take away the rights and choice of another person.
This comes because some retarded people might use what I said to justify that rape was the choice of the rapist.
You wanting to wear a short dress does not make you any less or greater a feminist than a person wanting to wear a dress that fully covers them up.
If a woman wants to get marries at age 20, let her be and do not judge her.
If a woman is unmarried even at 35, let her be and do not judge her.
If a woman wants to abort her baby if she requires it, let her make the choice.
Is someone wants a divorce from their spouse, let them get it.
It is their choice, their life.
Don't guilt trip them, mock them, insult them, blackmail them.
Accept their choices because they don't affect you.
Feminism is only about choice, equal choice in whatever issues that have an impact on us.
I have never been able to understand the term progressive feminist.
Being a feminist means that you are progressive.
You are fighting for a better future for everyone, regardless of their birth.
You are fighting for the past, the present and the future.
You are fighting to bring about progress in our dream of a world where all humans are equal, really and truly.
You cannot be a non progressive feminist. It is an oxymoron.
Also I have mentioned extensively about men and women.
I would also like to add homosexuals to that, because they are humans too.
Feminism stands for them too.
It stands by them, their views, dreams and interests.
They deserve to live life without being discriminated.
Homophobia is true, relevant and very much prevalent.
Feminism also fights against these.
These are the views on feminism by a 16 year old who still has a lot to see in the world.
But in my limited experiences and the volume of things I read and learn about, these are what I believe feminism stands for.
What I stand for.
If I have offended anyone with my usage of words, I am not sorry.
I am not looking to be politically correct and all flowery language.
Given the recent bashing feminists get, I wanted to tell what these two words meant to me.
These are what I believe in, what I stand for, what I will fight for.
Equality is not a one way street and feminism aims to tackle that exact same problem.
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